BA (HONS) Computer Animation Arts at UCA Rochester.
OGR 05/11/2015Hi Ben,Firstly, I want to acknowledge that you've worked hard in your first few days on this project and your OGR makes that clear; we've got architectural thumbnails, costumes, weapons and even a map... the problem for me is that your actual travelogue is an example of 'style creep' - in so much as it's really hard to to see what your collaborator is contributing, apart from the black, militarised aesthetic you've taken in support of your idea of this city. What do I mean by style creep? Well, I think your story for your city is derivative of lots of things you already know and like, and the sudden appearance of weapon design and character design supports this suspicion. It feels to me as if your dressing up a generic narrative about a fantasy civil war in Pugh's clothes, which is the least challenging route for a brief like this. I'm wondering how much research in your artist you actually completed? What I want you to do is derive an idea for your city and its culture from the ideas of the artist himself. Pugh is famous for his inflatable clothes and 'club kid' style; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Club_Kids (now do an image search)There is something transgressive about Pugh's fashion - it is vaguely threatening and deforming; it has a hint of fetish about it and of carnival - even a hint of this:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cenobite_(Hellraiser)I think a Pugh-inspired city would be stranger, more provocative and unsettling than the city you've retro-fitted with shapes from Pugh's clothes...The brief is designed to push students in unfamiliar design directions in the company of unfamiliar collaborators. My concern is that you've already turned this brief into something you're very comfortable with (a favourite kind of thinking) and I'd like to see you go back to the drawing board and take a much bigger risk.Also - you've copy/pasted your artist 'research' from someone else's website without referencing it: a) copy/pasting from the internet *isn't* research (go do some more) and b) copy/pasting from the internet without accrediting the original source is theft (plagiarism). You need to replace this copy with something you've written yourself (preferable) or re-upload this presentation with the original source accredited.I know you've worked hard and given your city your time and attention; I see that, but my point is that I don't think you've worked hard enough conceptually yet (i.e. the idea of your city has little to do with your collaborator and his work and his ideas, and that is a missed opportunity).