Friday, 5 February 2016

Script to Screen; OGR Part 2

Story Board Frame 1 - 80.
Red Arrows - Camera Movement
Green Arrows - Character Movement
Blue Arrows - Prop Movement
Camera fades from black to see hero and pans around then zooms to her face where she salutes

she walks back through the door, camera swipe to table where scientist zooms pass shaking the desk and causing things to move.

cup falls from his fast speed but he luckily catches it and takes a sip

he hears alarms going off and investigates the monitors to see hero approaching

he pushes a button. the camera pans into the screen where it becomes the actual scene where the hero has reached the base of the path to the tower

camera zooms backwards from hero towards the tower and starts moving, rolling towards her

camera starts getting faster as it approaches the hero, rolling as it goes.

camera cuts to hero jumping out of the way and the scientist laughing at her on screen and pushes another button

the terrain starts moving and shifting as deadly traps emerge blocking the path. the hero overcomes these obstacles (camera will follow as she goes through each one without cuts or transitions and rotates while it follows) 

she enters the tower. the scientist becoming more worried starts zooming around the room on his skates and stops at a console.

he slams on a button where the camera cuts to the hero walking up a flight of stairs doing so, the steps start to get removed and are approaching quickly. hero notices this and is bewildered

she snaps out of it and runs up the stairs camera following as she goes. she makes it, takes a breather and approaches the door. grabbing the handle.

Camera cuts to scientist, panning towards him while his leaning on the table smirking while looking at the door. cuts to looking at the door and pans towards the door as weapons are shifting slightly. camera cuts back to hero and then cuts to a comic like scene with both of them with the door and wall in the way. she opens door and barges in.

door closes behind her and camera fades to black.
Protagonist Influence

Katara - Avatar The Last Airbender
Rey - Star Wars The Force Awakens
Black Widow - Avengers
Antagonist Influence

Professor Hojo - Final Fantasy 7
Doctor Oobleck - RWBY
Steam Punk Goggles
Protagonist Concept
Head Number 1

Antagonist Concept
Head Number 2

Scene Concepts




  1. 06/02/2016

    Hi Ben,

    Okay - a couple of suggestions and observations. Firstly, while I like your cliff-hanger ending, it's a shame you don't use the roller-skates by which to bring things to an end. You've shown the audience the fact that the scientist is on roller-skates (though I still think it would be more interesting still in terms of design if the scientist wasn't so much 'wearing' roller-skates, as hybridised with them in a sort of cyborg/transhuman style - you know, like Dr Octopus), and as your film progresses, the idea of the roller-skates is underlined further. It does feel as if you're setting up the scientist's 'achilles heel' - i.e. the way that, for all his gadgets and inventions, he is ultimately defeated by the hero, and that she uses the fact that he's on wheels to her advantage. For me, while the scientist-on-wheels is fun, you could still squeeze more potential and actual usefulness from those roller-skates.

    My other observation would be that your current storyboarding of your various action scenes is far from expressive of 'action' or energy and this is largely due to the fact that you're shooting it all from a distance. If you truly consider the way action sequences in film are put together, you'd expect to see much more intercutting and a higher-cut rate (more images per second of film). For example, you've got your heroine leaping and jumping, but no close-ups of her landings, or her effort, or her expressions. I think you need to consider the effectiveness of intercutting in the creation of exciting action scenes. As part of the submission, you're asked to produce a presentation-standard storyboard (this means 'client-facing'), with the expectation too that you'll demonstrate your technical understanding of storyboarding conventions (nicely illustrated camera moves, as opposed to lots of little green arrows). Take another look at the examples in the 'Directing With A Pencil' presentation I gave - you'll find it on myUCA/Storytelling&Commission/FSTS/Briefs&Presentations. I want to see the quality of your drawing go up, Ben in this regard.

    Re. your character designs: I find it a bit odd that you can draw the human figure effectively in one context (the scientist) but not in your storyboard panels... I'd be interested to see how you work up your character designs, as I suspect you're relying heavily on existing reference (photographic or otherwise) as opposed to drawing upon some deep knowledge of human anatomy. Again, there is a big gap in terms of your skills in life-drawing class, and your confidence in terms of these character designs. I would expect to see lots of developmental drawings underpinning your character designs, as you try out and evaluate lots of different approaches, but I can find that process here.

    I think you need to be a bit careful Ben - not only are your two character designs very generic, they're also very derivative, and one of my goals for all students is to help them develop authentic, personal and innovative styles. I suspect you're a bit stuck in terms of character design, and I suspect too that your knowledge of human anatomy isn't very deep - otherwise you'd be much better at drawing real world bodies.

    All I'm going to say is this: there is fine line between taking inspiration from something, and imprisoning your own stuff inside the techniques, tropes and mannerisms of a favourite style. Personally, I'd like to see you throw out these two character designs and try and resolve something less derivative. What do you think?

    1. I agree the story boarding could use some fine tuning and extra frames but I don't see anything wrong with the Characters I have here, I'll come up with more designs and see from there.

      I wasn't really that worried about anatomy in the story boards, just so long as you can get the general gestures and movements. With the Concepts for the characters I take more time in making them, I use real life references to get shapes and a rough outline of what the body would be, and I go from there with a sketch and then lining, didn't think it was that odd.

      But I'll get back with an updated Story Board and other concepts.